Before the personal computer, the Internet and the mobile phone, there was the fax machine. There are still a few businesses that use this antiquated bit of early electronic communication – architects, medics – but for most of us the clacketing fax machine has long been replaced by emails, scans and all sorts of electronic wizardry. 

As well as official communications, the fax machine – assisted by the office photocopier – was also a favourite device for spreading workplace humour like this:

The objective of all dedicated company employees should be to thoroughly analyse all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers to all these problems, and move swiftly and efficiently to solve these problems when called upon.

HOWEVER …

When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Or this:

THE TOES YOU STEP ON TODAY 

MAY WELL BE ATTACHED TO THE LEGS 

THAT SUPPORT THE ARSE 

YOU NEED TO KISS 

TOMORROW …

There were thousands of these globally distributed satires, cartoons, parodies and expressions of frustrations and rage. I collected a few together in my Bare Fax (1996), now considered a classic. Most of these expressions from below have been lost to time, though one or two survivors patter through the WWW from time to time. Versions of this one are still about:

Although not entirely extinct, the mid-twentieth to early 21^st centuries was the golden era of the bare fax, or Xerox lore as these early memes were often known. But while fashions and technology may change, the need for a laugh or two, especially at work, remains the same. So, for those who may not have known this form of subversive humour (it was often forbidden in workplaces), or those who might have forgotten, here are a few classics of the genre. Enjoy.

Finally, one of the finest examples of the form is a parody of an ancient fable, just as relevant today as it was in the era of the bare fax and, perhaps, even in Aesop’s day:

When God made man all the parts of the body argued over who would be the BOSS.

The BRAIN explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be the BOSS.

The LEGS argued that since they took the body wherever it wanted to go, they should be the BOSS.

The STOMACH countered with the explanation that since it digested all the food, it should be BOSS.

The EYES said that without them, the body would be helpless, so they should be BOSS.

Then the ARSEHOLE applied for the job.

Then other parts of the body laughed so hard that the arsehole got mad and closed up.

After a few days the BRAIN went foggy, the LEGS got wobbly, the STOMACH got ill and the EYES got crossed and unable to see.

They all conceded defeat and made the ARSEHOLE the BOSS.

This proves that you don’t have to be a brain to be a BOSS …

JUST AN ARSEHOLE.

*